jacob update....

i have a separate blog that i have been keeping kind of a "diary" with regards to jacob and ADHD. this other blog is mostly meant as an outlet for me to be able to "air" my laundry without continually talking my friends/relatives ears off about it. it is what it is.

with that said, i do want to post on here about the goings on. i do want him to know how we feel and what we were thinking. while i may never share the other blog with him, this one is meant to be a future "diary" for my children to look back on (i bet it'll cost money to maintain by then...that's how they are going to get us...we've spent all this time and energy...then wham....but anyway).

with that said, jacob started on medicine 2 weeks ago. focalin to be exact. 5mg. with any medicine for adhd we start out at the lowest dosage and hope the medicine works. if not, maybe we change the dosage, maybe we change the medication. it's kind of a trial and error, if you will.

so we started on this 2 weeks ago, and the first day was the BESTEST ever! the next few days were also really nice, but then they started going downhill. back to where we used to be. he would be in everyone's face. he would take the Golden Rule to mean "get even." jack hit me, so he must want me to hit him. retaliation was key in his day. he was loud, busy and sometimes downright mean. there weren't genuine smiles and happiness. there was much yelling and timeouts. it was very depressing to be in our house.

forward to today...i was supposed to call in 2 weeks to let doctor know how it was going. that would be tomorrow. it was all i could do to wait until today. i called as soon as their phones opened this morning. talked with the nurse and she said that since there was an improvement in the beginning, doctor would probably just change the dosage. she called back about 30 minutes later and confirmed that. i'm supposed to check in with her on friday again.

so today went very well. it went almost exactly how i would expect a day to go with 3 children. there was some fighting, there was some yelling, there were some timeouts. emphasis on the word SOME. it was minimal. we played. we cuddled. we loved. we smiled. we joked. most important...we had FUN! we went to bed on awesome terms. lots of kisses and laughing. just the way i think it's meant to be.

i know there are supposed to be struggles. siblings will fight. there will be anger. there will be sadness. there will be unhappiness. but you know what...above all, there will be love and happiness. THAT'S what i'm looking for. and today, we achieved it.

please pray that we have found the right dosage and it doesn't dwindle again. i tormented myself over whether or not to medicate him to begin with, but i don't like the idea of continuing to increase the dosage...but we will do what we have to do. and of course, we will be informed when it happens.

my life has become all about my children. that started back on october 1, 2003. the day i found out we were pregnant. someday's i question what God was thinking. i always quote "God will only give you what you can handle" to make it through the day...more so lately. but you know what...we are handling it. it might not be the "right" way. others might be more patient, and others just might be more mentally equipped to deal. but we're doing the best we can....and you know what...we must be doing something right because tonight (at VBS-Good Shepherd Little Lambs) jacob made an octopus and asked someone how to write, "I Love You Mom."